Using Technology Mindfully

Have you ever sent a text to the wrong person because you didn't take the time to make sure it was being sent correctly? What about when you were upset? Have you ever sent a text in the heat of the moment that you wish you had thought about before you sent? The technology you’ve grown up with is pretty amazing and undoubtedly one of the best ways to keep up to date with what’s going on and to connect with friends and family.  At the same time, there’s no built  in pause button to make sure you double check your thoughts or take space before sending whatever it is you want to send in the moment.  As great as it is, technology doesn’t do a whole lot to protect us from ourselves.  As a result, hurtful photos, cruel words and harmful ideas are sent into cyberspace without a moment’s hesitation, with the sender often regretting their actions later on.

We all have hundreds of thoughts throughout the day.  Some of these thoughts are helpful while others are clearly not.  It’s important to recognize that these thoughts are not necessarily a representation of who we are or what we truly think.  In fact, many of the thoughts we have on a daily basis are colored by our friends, our teachers, our families, society and past experiences that have left pretty deep imprints on our hearts.  If we acted on every single thought that came up, you can imagine that some pretty crazy things would start to happen so more often than not, we don’t.  Technology though makes it a lot harder for us because it gives us a way to act on these thoughts without pausing and thinking about the impact our actions might have. 

Think about when you’re angry.  We all get angry from time to time.  That’s normal.  When we’re angry, our emotions often cloud our thoughts and the emotion takes over.   In situations like this, when emotions are running high, we often say things we wish we hadn't or do things we didn't necessarily want to do.  Throw technology into the mix and suddenly, those words and actions are captured in permanence long after our emotions or thoughts have moved on.

What would it look like if you took the time to think before you typed?  How could mindful posting affect you in the long run?  These are important questions to ask and the answers may look different for different people.  By taking some time to check in with yourself before posting, texting, or commenting, you give your true self an opportunity to speak up.  You might realize that the text should actually be a face to face conversation with the person or that the photo you were going to post could actually have a lasting impact on someone’s life.  The time you take to think critically and compassionately prior to posting is actually an opportunity for you to dictate how the future unfolds and what part you actually play in someone else’s life.  Big stuff when you think about it!  So see what it’s like to take that time.  You might not get another chance.

Copyright © 2015 by Maggie Steele

You Don’t Need Someone Else to Be Happy

It’s funny to me that so much of what we believe is simply the result of being bombarded with ideals and opinions that don’t necessarily match up with our authentic selves.  Much of what we hear is that we need to find that special someone to spend the rest of our lives with.  In fact, many times that special someone is meant to be the key to our happiness.  If we find that special person, everything will be better and we will finally be happy.  Seriously?  If that were the case, then everyone with a partner would be dancing around in absolute bliss for the rest of their lives.

We can’t suddenly be happy just because we’ve found that special someone. Think about where happiness comes from.  How do you know you’re happy?  You feel happy, right? The feeling itself comes from inside of you.  It only makes sense then, that true, authentic happiness is something that only we can give to ourselves. 

Take Jessika for example.  Jessika grew up with the Disney classics and although she knew deep down inside that she was capable of doing just about anything, there was a small but significant part of her that believed without a shadow of a doubt that her life would be better and she would be happier as soon as her prince came into her life. Jessika did eventually meet that someone and soon realized that Jimmy wasn’t doing what she had imagined he would do.  She was certain that he would make her happy.  Instead, she only felt more alone and upset when things didn’t go the way she had hoped. 

Jessika’s story is pretty common.  We start off by looking for that person who will, in a sense, complete us.  Once we find them, we then put all of our hopes and dreams onto them and expect that they will be the ones to make us happy.  Imagine how that person feels! That’s a whole lot of pressure.  Sure enough the person isn’t able to deliver and we feel empty and hurt.  Once we’ve gotten over the pain and the heartache, we start telling ourselves that that person just wasn’t the one.  Again, we let society run our thoughts and we continue to seek out that one person who will be the one to make us happy.

What would it be like if you were able to find the happiness you're looking for by simply being you?  I know, I know, you're probably thinking, "What is she talking about?"  Bear with me, okay.  How do you think a relationship might benefit if you were happy all on your own, and didn’t need that other person to make you whole? 

The thing is, happiness is something that comes from within.  It’s something that we can cultivate on our own and then share with others.  So how do you do it?  One of the first things you can do is to come up with a list of things that make you smile.  It doesn’t matter how big or how silly these things are.  It could even be something like eating a warm chocolate chip cookie!  By identifying things that make you smile, you are gaining a deeper understanding of who you are and what you enjoy. 

Another thing you can do is keep a gratitude journal.  Whenever you feel moved to write, jot down some of the things you are grateful for.  By building awareness of what you have, you will be more in tune with yourself and your environment. This awareness will help you by highlighting who you are, what you have, and how those things bring you happiness.  If you keep looking for happiness outside of yourself you will continue down that hopeless path of disappointment.  If you take a look inside though, you’ll start to notice those unique things that bring about the joy that naturally resides within you.  And that happiness, well, that’s all yours.  And always will be.  No matter what. 

Copyright © 2015 by Maggie Steele

Unplug for the Holidays

With the holidays coming up, I thought it might be a good time to talk about some of the benefits of unplugging. I know, I know. Why would anyone want to do that? There are a lot of great reasons though, and some of them might really inspire you to take a break.

It’s no secret that technology is a huge part of our lives today. We spend most of our days posting, tweeting, chatting, liking and sharing videos and photos. When we’re not doing that, we’re mindlessly scrolling down our news feed checking in on what everyone else is posting. While social media is a fantastic way to build a community and connect with your friends, it can also bring you down. Some people subconsciously base their self-worth on whether or not people like their status and it can be devastating when their post is not acknowledged.

Taking a second to acknowledge someone in person, face to face, can do a lot more than simply “liking” a photo, but most of us spend more time on our phones than we do connecting with people in person. This is why it is so important for us to unplug from time to time. Not only will we be able to avoid the painful feelings that are often brought about by comparing photos and status updates, but we will be able to spend our time doing things that make us feel good.

Taking a break from the internet can actually lead to some productive, healthy and hilarious ways to spend your time. Instead of checking someone’s status, you could learn how to cook a muffin or build a dog house from scratch. You could design your own bracelet or make a ton and give them away to everyone at school! You could paint your room, go for a hike, do some yoga, play a sport or just sit quietly with your cat. You could meet a friend and go for lunch, take a random class or go to a book store. You could eat a bagel and dance around the kitchen singing, “Let it Go”! You could spend some time with your family or volunteer to help those in need.

Here’s the thing. There are countless activities you could do with the time spent checking in on your friends. Make a list of fun things you’d like to do and invite others to join you! Give it a chance and see how it feels to unplug over the holidays. Who knows? You might just want to unplug every month from here on out.

Copyright © 2014 by Maggie Steele. All rights reserved.

Knowing is Not Enough

What would it take for you to be kinder? What would have to change for you to be more active? I ask these questions because we all know that when we are nice, people are friendlier, and when we are active, we are happier and healthier. Knowledge, however, is not enough to make us change our ways. Knowing that something is good for us rarely leads to action and without action, our behavior will, sadly, never change.

Although knowledge is incredibly powerful and awareness awakens us to the problems or dissatisfaction in our lives, the shift that is needed must be taken and not simply thought. Taking a step towards being the person you want to be is a step in the right direction. We need to move towards our dreams by setting and accomplishing our goals along the way; not just sitting down and thinking about them. Thoughts are powerful but thoughts accompanied by action are even more so.

If you want to change your ways, start by recognizing exactly what needs to change. Is the television keeping you from being active or productive? Is there a part of you that you’d like to see more of in your daily life? When we become aware of the things that need to change, we can take immediate action and significant steps in the direction of our dreams. If you want to be kinder or more generous, acknowledge the part of you that already is. How can you accentuate this part of you? What can you do today that will make you feel as though you are becoming the person you want to be?

Copyright © 2014 by Maggie Steele.  All rights reserved.